Yuki and The Drunk redo
by xXLady-of-LoveXx
Summary: Songfic to Aerosmith's Dude looks like a Lady. Yuki goes to a bar and gets.. well, annoyed by a drunken pervert who thinks he's a man. Rated T for safety. REVIEW PLEASE! I'LL GIVE YOU A COOKIE IF YOU DO!


**I don't own Fruits Basket.  
****I don't own this song!  
Yuki: Suki, I hate you.  
Me: Sorry! Forgive me Yun Yun!!!!  
Yuki; DON'T CALL ME YUN YUN!**

* * *

_(That, that) Dude looks like a lady  
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady  
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady  
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady_

_Cruised into a bar on the shore  
Her picture graced the grime on the door  
She a long lost love at first bite  
Baby maybe you're wrong, but you know it's all right  
That's right_

**Yuki Sohma sighed in the bar as he looked up at the drunken man in front of him. "So baby what do you say wanna get funky in the backroom?" the drunk slurred in front of Yuki's face. A large nerve appeared on Yuki's forehead, "Um, I am a guy." The drunk smiled "Suuure you are baby, and I'm Brittany-wait what was her name? Oh yeah Sword! Either way you wanna get funky?" The nerve on Yuki's forehead got even bigger "its Brittany Spears. Now please leave me alone before I resort to violence". The drunk smiled "AAA kinky I see I like you- hahahahaha-!" Yuki thought to himself "I know a way that'll prove I am male". Yuki smiled innocently, "ok, fine. I'll give you a memory you'll never forget" he said in the most feminine voice he could muster. The drunk smiled "Yea, let's go" then he let out a Homer Simpson like moan. Yuki tried to hide his disgust "Come on bud, lets get this party started". He said in a sultry voice.**

_Backstage we're having the time  
Of our lives until somebody say  
Forgive me if I seem out of line  
Then she whipped out her gun  
And tried to blow me away_

**In the backroom the drunk was smiling grotesquely "Come here baby and sit still...I'll be gentle I promise!" Yuki thought to himself "Oh god, I am going to burn these clothes, then bury the ashes no not bury, I am going to throw the ashes into the ocean. In a lead chest." Yuki forced a smile and walked over to the drunk, and put his hands on the drunk's chest. The drunk closed his eyes waiting for a kiss but Yuki had a different idea. Grabbing the man by the scruff he threw him into a door. "When someone tells you they are a guy, believe them, ok?" The drunk's expression twisted "You, You little Bitch!" he screamed and charged at Yuki who dodged, the man swiftly. Yuki walked over to the man who had fallen on the floor. "I'm a guy for the last friggen time." Yuki then gave the man a sharp kick. The drunk dizzily got up "I-I-I'm a gonna get you, you, you little bitch!" Yuki sighed and shook his head. The drunk sent a swaying, inaccurate punch toward Yuki's face. Yuki grabbed the man's fist and snapped it. "I AM A MAN!"**

_(That, that) Dude looks like a lady  
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady_

_So never judge a book by it's cover  
Or who you're going to love by your lover  
Love put me wise to her love in disguise  
She had the body of a venus  
Lord imagine my surprise_

**Yuki straighted his tie before walking out of the backroom, behind him, groaning on the floor was the drunk, his face a bloody, pulpy mess. Yuki sighed "I tried to tell you, besides, I said I'd give you a memory you'd never forget. Yuki walked out and exited the bar. He noticed as he walked home people were watching him with looks of interest. Again Yuki Sohma sighed.**

_(That, that) Dude looks like a lady  
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady_

_Baby let me follow you down  
Let me take a peek dear  
__Baby let me follow you down  
Do me, do me, do me all night_

_Baby let me follow you down  
Turn the other cheek dear  
Baby let me follow you down  
Do me, do me, do me, do me_

**The Drunk sighed in the hospitable bed. "Damn, what a woman"**

**"POW"! Yuki punched him again…"I am a guy!!!!"**

_Ooh what a funky lady  
She like it, like it, like it, like that,  
Ooh he was a lady_

_

* * *

_

**Well hope you liked it! It sucked didn't it...--' Ok see the pretty purple button that says submit review? CLICK IT! You'll like it!**


End file.
